A Better Tomorrow

What a great summer...

2007-04-12T13:47:21Z

Come on. I'm BORED. Used to be during school days I'd come up with as many activities as possible unrelated to school, like checking Multiply, playing video games, chatting, looking for new music, etc. Now I've got all the time in the world to do all that and I don't know now what the hell to do. @_@

I've got two months of summer ahead. Even with mornings and half the afternoon occupied by summer training, the rest of the day will still be boring as heck (as if math wasn't boring enough already). Still, at least I have people to talk to there (although most of them went to Zamboanga to, uh, graph gunrunning functions and prove that statistics show ther'll never be violence-free elections and stuff... In short, real helpful stuff. Yeah.) And if my parentheses are in the wrong places, sod off.

Thoughts on blogging.

2007-03-22T11:57:02Z

We use blogs for lots of stuff, like sharing thoughts and feelings, social commentary, sharing stuff, as messageboards, or as diaries.

Using blogs as diaries is particularly dangerous. The computer is much more convenient for journal-style writing because it's more accessible (if you can type faster than you can write)...

...but blogs are also open source and open to public viewing. Restricting viewing access to a particularly angry/scandalous/hush-hush blog to a couple of friends isn't the same thing as telling them something personally and telling them to keep it a secret. You never know who's using an account, and even if access is restricted, people can still see titles.

Of course, there's nothing wrong with expressing one's feelings via a blog (which is one of their primary purposes), but be aware that anyone and everyone can view a blog (as opposed to an old-fashioned diary, which one can keep relatively safe). One may want to take something they may have written in a rush of emotion back a week later.

The difference is, if you said something a week ago and want to take it back, it's always possible to convince other people you really didn't mean what you said.

But who's going to be convinced if there's physical typewritten evidence posted on a network everyone with an Internet connection has access to?

eXSess Ulam: Gutom Na Ako

2007-02-11T14:54:36Z

So I wasn't involved in most of the preparation for the fair, because I'd always just see Joshua running around forming committees and stuff. I eventually donated a box, illustration board, and 8 hours of my time to the class booth. I don't know what the box was used for.

The variety show had been held on Friday, so everyone was expecting not even half the crowd the fair usually pulled in (normally, lots of people come on Saturday in anticipation of the variety show.) Surprisingly, a lot of families showed up. Not that many, of course, but the fair wasn't as dead as I thought it would be (like three years ago, when it rained on the fair on a Sunday. The aftermath looked like a war scene, with muddy and collapsed booths and stuff. The fair closed early.)

Our booth concept was pretty simple; throw some plastic vegetables into buckets. We had a Spongebob mascot outside (manufactured by the MacGyver descendant John Lato). I have no idea what Spongebob had to do with a bunch of vegetables, fruits and pigs (???), but it pulled people in.

I got to the booth around 10:30 am, after promising I'd show up at 7. It wasn't easy, especially after sleeping at 2 (thanks to the overlong Variety Show. What happened to the dual-stage setup?). I arrived in the heat of a wave of customers. Chris was there with his pink afro, which either scared people off or succeded where Spongebob failed. Around 11 plus, some people showed up who aimed for our grand prize, a Lava Lamp worth 300 points. They kept playing until they got the lava lamp, spending more money than it was actually worth (but that's the way with all fair prizes anyway, right?) Our teacher Mrs. Enaje also went for a stuffed monkey toy worth 100 points. After six tries, she got exactly 99 points, and grabbed the monkey. We gave her a bonus shot just to make it 100 and she missed. Up to now she's still not supposed to have the monkey. Sometime before that, Trevor advertised our booth with an Indian voice demanding people to come and help "the Indian go back to India". I still don't know whether we actually lost customers because of that or not. Also, people ostensibly came on their proper shift times, but nobody really kept track. Everyone took about three extended breaks each, so we gave up tallying who showed up when. At any rate, we had about four-five people in the booth at all times

I left at around 2pm and came back around 5pm, when the fair was dying down. However, there were still a whole bunch of what I termed "hyperfamilies", the ones with parent/s and at least two maids and at least three children. We had at least three of them between 5 and 7:30 pm. One family had their maids throw the vegetables and they crossed the bench barrier thing so that they were just dropping the vegetables in. Nobody cared. Another family had a kid who played over a dozen times yet refused to let his score accumulate. Apparently all he wanted were the 20-point Pokemon figurines, and he wasn't going to leave until he had all the ones we had in stock (without duplicates, of course). Reportedly, the mom had bought P15,000 worth of chits (?!?). Anyway, this was all going on while the "homegrown talents" show was ongoing. Put succinctly, our homegrowns don't have that much talent.

The next day, I went earlier, and relaxed for two hours. During those two hours, I confirmed that Gng. Enaje is a genuine hard rocker (e.g. Skid Row). When the customers started coming, I quickly got confused with the sudden overflow of customers (one kid kept complaining that the Pokemon cards he got weren't original... well, what the heck did he expect?) and just busied myself with rearranging the position of the lava lamp (it seemed nobody wanted one anymore), the stuffed monkey toy, the Spongebob mascot (Joshua had bought one yesterday. He actually went to Divisoria that afternoon to buy more prizes.), and advertising. 2B, somewhat in need of customers, decided they'd advertise around our booth. So me and Ping put Datu in the Spongebob mascot and went over to 2B's booth to harass them. It didn't really work or anything, but we found out when we came back that people were willing to pay 30 bucks to vandalize the mascot. We let them; it was already falling apart anyway. (I tried wearing the mascot; that thing is not fun to wear, especially when people start poking stuff through the holes in it.)

Both days I got my lunch from Little China. Both days I got caught. Both days I posted bail. Both days I didn't get wet. Both days I got a headache. Both days I slept for an hour and half every time I got home.

Oh, yeah, and I just discovered P120 worth of unused chits in my wallet. I'll just sneak it in the chits box when I help count tomorrow.

Catholi-Protestanti-Confusionism

2006-12-11T14:15:18Z

It seems to matter a lot nowadays with what group a Christian is affliated with.

Catholics?

Protestants? (Official definition: Any Christian who isn't Roman Catholic)

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints? (If you've never heard of them, don't even try hearing of them. These guys are freaking closeted cultists.)

Different philosophies even come to blows:
Catholic: "I'm having difficulties."
Protestant: "Do not worry. God does not put tasks in front of you that you cannot accomplish."
Catholic: "How would you know, you aren't Catholic!"

How does not being a Catholic but being a Christian make any kind of difference in God's nature?

Protestant: "Catholics think good deeds will get them into Heaven. That's the difference between Christians and Catholics."

Note the use of the term "Christians" AS DISTINGUISHED FROM CATHOLICS.
What do you think you guys are, superior? O_O

I'm not insulting nor generalizing anybody here.

Protestants are stereotyped by Catholics (and pretty much everyone else) as "Alive-Alive" people who try to stuff their religion down your face and think they're better than everybody else. An athiest put the common perception succinctly: "Kids devote themselves to God, singing His praises at a young age. When they become adults, some of them are still devoted, while the others mellow out with age and eventually become useful members of society." It's actually no wonder Protestants aren't liked because they seem to have a mentality of "If you don't join our exact group of worshippers, you'll go to hell."

The reality is that Protestants are deeply devoted Christians. They emphasize evangelism. The way Protestants worship, they have a closer relationship with God as seen from the outside. Naturally, they are also more zealous and eager. Perky, some would say. They are highly encouraged to share the Gospel. (this is not stated directly, but is implied.) The main basis of their faith is, "You will be saved if you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior." Is this bad? Depending on who you ask, yes or no. But there is no doubt that this is why some Protestants can get fairly fanatical. Not my friends, that's for sure; but it explains the presence of the stereotype.

Catholics are often stereotyped by Protestants as people who merely say they are followers of God but either never back it up or are largely hypocritical. They are stereotyped as Sunday school cookie-cutter citizens and are chastised for thinking that "deeds alone will get them into Heaven."

The reality is that Catholics are a more introspective and questioning group of worshippers. Serious Catholics want to know more about Christ through the process of soul-searching, research, experience, reflection and even -gasp- questioning faith, all of which serve to further enrich their faith. Mass indifference is caused by the fact that often, Catholics are too entrenched into dogma, tradition, routine and repeat-after-me to realize the true meaning of their religion. Eventually, Jesus's death on the cross just becomes another nuisance to memorize alongside the Mughal Dynasty and the 9 major phyla of the animal kingdom. The main basis of their faith is, "You will be saved if you love one another as Christ loved us." True Catholics are just as devoted as Protestants, but unconditional love is more prominent in Catholics. In Protestants, Christ's everlasting presence in man and in the world is more emphasized.

In the very basic idea of Christianity, neither Catholicism nor Protestantism has a right to be better than the other. All ideas are the same.

Yet there exist many intricacies within both religions that prevent them from being united. The Protestant Church broke away from the Catholic Church during a time when the Roman Catholic Church was widely perceived as selfishly corrupt. Both faiths insist that the other is flawed. Jesus Christ was sent to unite people under Him; why are we now divided and fighting over Him?

What do I believe in? I believe that Jesus paid our debt of sin on the Cross and that he continues to be present in everything I do. I believe in Jesus's love for us.

I believe in Christianity. I do not wish to fully affliate myself with a branch. Does that make me confused? Perhaps. Does it make me spiritually inferior? I believe not.

The ideal religion would have a Catholic mindset and a Protestant spirit, deeply devoted and always seeking wisdom and humility under Christ.

I do not mean for anyone to take offense, but that is what I believe. I go to Jzone and I go to Mass and I enjoy the best of both worlds. In an ideal situation, both of them would not be considered separate but could share in one faith, hand-in-hand, just as Christ originally intended.

Procession killed a cat.

2006-12-11T13:28:54Z

Prologue

Are they forcing us to go to a talk and walk in a procession? It is called a "holy day of obligation" for Catholics. The agnostics, atheists and Protestants need not worry - you don't need to go, you'll just fail the project. Oh, yeah, it's on Sunday too. 2:30 PM.

How could "them people" possibly refuse?

As a Catholic by faith and Protestant by principles (a.k.a. "confused", which is preferable in today's age of "My branch of religion is better than yours"), I go. My faith has been running away from me lately, and everytime I go and look for it, I find something else instead. Still, one cannot help but think the talk an extended CLE lesson, esoteric and auto-assuming. (Incidentally, Jesus's death and resurrection is a matter of faith, not a matter of proof. Empty tombs and angels are not proofs, and the Bible has never been proven to be fully historically accurate, as with many other texts at the time. I try not to take parts of the Bible literally, meaning Genesis, because Genesis and dinosaurs come to blows with no clear victor.)

The Talk

Sitting in the back did H2C amuse themselves trying to get the teachers mad at their seatmates. Everyone's worst fears were confirmed; the talk may have been informative, but it was nowhere near as attention-grabbing as a swab of cotton. Ooh, complete with PPT! Now we can mindlessly take notes. As the priest went on about the "Cosmic Christ", I found myself drawing a stick figure with a beard, a cape, "Cosmic Christ" across him, and a "Lives: Infinte. Insert Sin Here and Press Star to begin." Disrespectful, perhaps, but insightful.

The Procession

Maybe it was just me, but I don't think anyone was aware that we were expected to march in a 1 1/2 hour procession that took us from Mary the Queen Parish, out of West Greenhills, through Wilson, into Bgy. Little Baguio, past my house (I was unable to slip away though), past Crownpointe, down M.A. Reyes and back through Xavier St. into MTQ. Extremely long. We were just walking, though, and praying. The only problem was, having been at the back of the church, H2C was right in front of the procession, just behind the command van and the ICA CAT (extremely well disciplined, might I add.) 5 minutes into the procession, the command van and its loudspeaker broke down right outside ICA, leaving the only source of sound at the back and in the middle. In short, us people in front couldn't hear what the heck was going on, so we just walked. Nobody in front cared about the prayers anymore, because they were unintelligible anyway from where we were. So everyone spent the entire procession talking about things I'd rather not discuss here.

Anyway, marching down Wilson St., apparently one of the procession cars squashed a cat. I was able to only catch a glimpse of it, but one wonders if that wasn't some kind of omen: "STOP THIS PROCESSION". Or maybe the cat was just plain unlucky to not get out of the way of hundreds of disgruntled students, dozens of serious people, a troop formation of CATs, people carrying flags who looked like they were about to start hitting each other, and the priest who was under some kind of tarp. Must have been comfortable under there.

In front of the chapel at Barasoain St. and at Crownpointe, there were loads of people watching, praying, and listening. Some kids who I had noticed running around at Barasoain St ended up at Crownpointe, WAY down the road, even though I had, prior to that, seen them running the other way.

It began to rain. Perhaps there was hope that Monday's classes would be cancelled due to a combination of light rainfall and deficient immune systems which had been abandoned somewhere back on Roosevelt. The teachers had umbrellas; what about us? (Incidentally, H2C's class adviser was the only one who cared enough to get out of bed and accompany her class. The other classes were accompanied by random teachers.)

A car honked wildly at us going down the other side of the road. At first I thought he was just grouchy, but I realized that we were forming a huge line (not at all surprising) which was blocking his way into his own house (surprising). Seriously, we obstructed traffic in the Greenhills and Little Baguio area. Keep this up and in ten years some driver is going to run someone down out of utter hatred.

Heading back into MTQ saw half an hour more of prayer, which we were finally able to hear and follow. By that time, though, we were all hyperventilating to notice.

The church doors open for Mass. 95% of the batch run for greener pastures. Lack of spiritual loyalty? No; lack of spiritual importance. The importance of the feast of Christ the King was never made clear; so everyone bolted for Ash Creek.

It was actually fun thinking of as many ways as possible to goof off in the back of the line. From a religious stand, it's pitiful. From a practical stand, what the heck could we do? As a matter of fact, the cat flattened on the road sent more of a message than the entire procession itself.

This is the embodiment of petty and narrow-minded anger.

2006-11-30T14:48:44Z

I get pissed every night, usually from completely forgetting to do something and sleeping AGAIN at 1am+ as a result.

Today was something else, though.

First I was goofing off on the PC and chilling. I had just received news that Saturday's math comp was postponed, so there's more free time in a 5-day weekend.

That 5-day weekend (including Monday) comes with a lot of projects and stuff, but I figured I could relax today, maybe finish the small assignments and stuff.

I see Jose's and Ping's albums from the field trip, so I decide to upload mine too.

FIRST: the camera, while connected to the usb port, falls off the table.
SECOND: Multiply's Java photo upload sucks, because the last two pics you upload ALWAYS either get cut off or don't upload at all.
THIRD: I had to upload the pics in segments so that my computer wouldn't lock down.
FOURTH: I had decided to put captions in each segment of pics; so I'd upload 30, delete the broken pics, put captions on them, upload 30 more, etc.
FIFTH: 5 pics away from completion, Multiply decided to be an arse and delete all my captions.
SIXTH: Once I had uploaded all the pics and recaptioned everything, I clicked on "Save & Publish"... and my DSL decided to be an arse and not let me access my Multiply site. So I pressed Back and all the captions got reset, AGAIN.

On top of that, I had planned to start doing homeworks by 3:00 PM. My Multiply forced that down to 5:00 PM. I stressed out because that basically destroyed my schedule and now I'm going to be forced to sleep late again tonight. (What am I even doing blogging?)

In essence, I was pissed because I couldn't do homework.

Does that make me a supernerd?

How are corny jokes made?

2006-11-20T16:02:08Z

Mig Ordoñez: knock knock
Pacs: hus der
Mig Ordoñez: uhh
Mig Ordoñez: uhhhh
Mig Ordoñez:
Mig Ordoñez: leech
Pacs: uhh uhh who?
Pacs: ay
Pacs: leech who?
Mig Ordoñez: leech groove tonight
Mig Ordoñez: uh yeah

Mig Ordoñez:
Mig Ordoñez: knock knock
Pacs: whos there?
Mig Ordoñez: promise
Pacs: Promse who?
Mig Ordoñez: promisecuous ghorl
Mig Ordoñez: something something
Mig Ordoñez: di ko alam lyrics

Pacs: knock knock
Mig Ordoñez: who's there?
Pacs: phil
Mig Ordoñez: phil who?
Pacs: philease dont tats my berdie

Pacs: who's there
Mig Ordoñez: cossak
Mig Ordoñez: ay
Mig Ordoñez: cossack*
Pacs: cossack who?
Mig Ordoñez: cossackreeeysi fooor yoooou
Pacs: ....
Pacs: Sukahan na to
Pacs:
Mig Ordoñez: hoohoohooohoohooooo

Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:19 PM): knockknock
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:20 PM): who's there
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:21 PM): ay wait
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:22 PM):
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:23 PM): ARGH
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:42 PM): katok
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:15:44 PM): huh
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:15:46 PM): katok?
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:15:48 PM): sinong naron
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:15:49 PM):
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:53 PM): ....
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:54 PM): i forgot
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:15:58 PM): REALLY=)
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:15:58 PM): i forgot who?
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:15:59 PM): O_o
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:16:01 PM): AY TAE KLA
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:16:01 PM): ......
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:16:03 PM):
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:16:04 PM):
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:16:06 PM): LABO

Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:16:13 PM): knock knock
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:16:48 PM): ding dong+))
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:17:10 PM): ding dong
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:17:11 PM): i mean
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:17:12 PM): whos ther e=)0
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:17:14 PM): pidio
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:17:15 PM):
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:17:53 PM): pidio who
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:18:00 PM): pidio killed the radio star

Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:18:20 PM): knick knack
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:18:25 PM): husder
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:18:34 PM): tama
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:18:53 PM): tama who?
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:18:57 PM): tamaftertam

Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:21:26 PM): knock knock
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:21:32 PM): tao po
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:21:42 PM): ...
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:21:43 PM):
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:21:44 PM): knock knock
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:21:55 PM): ejpder/
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:21:58 PM): ewan

Mig Ordoñez: knock knock
Pacs: those are nto songs btw just horrible lines ))
Pacs: hus there
Mig Ordoñez: joshua
Pacs: joshua who?
Mig Ordoñez: joshuaaait a second
Mig Ordoñez: if you really love me
Pacs: ... why are you so good

Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:23:07 PM): knock knock
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:23:16 PM): husder
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:23:26 PM): dupree
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:23:39 PM): dupree who
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:23:46 PM): if yo usay
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:23:50 PM): rockin in dupree world
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:23:50 PM): DUPFREEE FOOOWLING
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:23:51 PM):
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:23:52 PM): papatayin kita

Mig Ordoñez: knock knock
Pacs: whos there
Mig Ordoñez: caddy
Pacs: caddy who?
Mig Ordoñez: caddyri ng joke na yun
Pacs: ... knock knock
Mig Ordoñez: ...
Mig Ordoñez: whos ther
Mig Ordoñez:
Pacs: caddilac ta
Mig Ordoñez: caddilac ta who
Pacs: caddilac taena ka

Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:25:12 PM): knock knock
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:25:15 PM): who's der
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:25:17 PM): kirin
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:25:30 PM): kirin who?
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:25:39 PM): kirin in da name op
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:25:44 PM): ... walng hiya kla

Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:26:38 PM): knok knok
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:26:39 PM): ay
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:26:40 PM): whos there
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:26:43 PM): jueteng
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:26:48 PM): Jueteng por yu ._.
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:26:51 PM): ay
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:26:53 PM): jueteng
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:26:55 PM): on the world to change
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:26:56 PM): dapat un e

Pacs: AH
Pacs: knock knoc
Mig Ordoñez: maayos yun
Pacs: k
Mig Ordoñez:
Mig Ordoñez: who's there?
Pacs: Al
Mig Ordoñez: al who?
Pacs: Al take you to the candy shop
Pacs:
Mig Ordoñez: ._.

Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:28:28 PM): knock knock
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:28:56 PM): whaddup fo?
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:29:02 PM): kate
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:29:03 PM): =)
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:29:07 PM): kate ......
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:29:08 PM): who?
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:29:10 PM): i'm afradi
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:29:12 PM): ito hear this
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:29:13 PM):
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:29:14 PM): kate wait to take you home wid me=0)
Arnold Lau (11/20/2006 11:29:16 PM):
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:29:18 PM): i made that one up
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:29:18 PM): =-))
Miguel de Jesus (11/20/2006 11:29:19 PM): klay sabaw

Pacs: whos ther
Pacs:
Mig Ordoñez:
Mig Ordoñez: anne
Pacs: anne who? Angatabelieve in magic?
Pacs: Mig Ordoñez: anneber met a girl like you before
Mig Ordoñez: oohoohoo

Jel Calooy: eh ito
Jel Calooy: sino kalaban ni flash?
Pacs: Inidoro
Pacs:
Pacs: HAHAHA
Jel Calooy: HAHA
Jel Calooy: NO
Jel Calooy:
Pacs: oh.
Pacs: HAHAHAHAHHA =)0 THAT'S FUNNIER

Diegym

2006-11-20T14:53:55Z

"O, pare, saan ka"
"GYM"
"pupunta sa"
"GYM"
"Sabado? Gimik"
"GYM"
"tayo. Badminton"
"GYM"
"tayo bukas sa"
"GYM"
"Club Filipino, sa tapat lang ng"
"GYM"
"bahay ni Miguel at Michael."
"GYM"
"Kaya mo bang pumunta?"
"GYM TAENA CE CE DEINZ!"

No offense. =))

My room isn't mine anymore. I should start charging rent.

2006-11-13T11:52:47Z

One day, my dad saw the electric bill, valued (on our side) at over 30,000 pesos. Needless to say, he tore a hole in the roof. So, he decided to permanently shut down the air conditioner in the master's bedroom, which had already enjoyed stints in my room (when i was a kid listening to 90's pop on the radio at night and sleeping at 9:30 in the evening), and my sister's room (when her air conditioner broke down.) So, my mom, who ostensibly can't stand a warm room for more than five minutes, now watches crazy old Chinese movies in my room until around 11 in the evening. I can't even listen to music anymore, because she always says it's too loud... and the volume control is already set to 1. It's not fun trying to listen to John Mayer in sync with Kung Fu Fighting-esque sounds and swords-and-sorcery sound effects cheaper than Dynasty Warriors.

Another day, my brother grew fat. At the same time, my brother and sister's rooms are connected by one bathroom. Disgusted with recent developments, my sister now uses my bathroom every time she needs to use the bathroom.

Two weeks ago, I purchased Final Fantasy 12. Now, I unwittingly told my brother about this, and he took it upon himself to wangle himself into getting infinite Playstation time, pissing off me and my mother alike. Soon enough he started hanging around my room just because it was cold, so he'd be doing push-ups, watching basketball, and attempting to send malicious GMs to my YM list (if anyone gets anything weird from me, it's either his fault or a virus... wait... no difference). The PS2 is in my room so if he wants to use it, he goes to my room. But if he just wants to watch basketball and work out, there's a straight line from his gym equipment downstairs to the kitchen. We both know he goes to my room just to piss me off.

Two days ago, I came home to find my room smelling like cigarettes. Prior to that, my mom had discovered some unsightly leaks above the headboard, that had seeped their way down the wallpaper creating a gummy worm-like streak. So she called in the cavalry to fix the leak (and while she was at it, probably the hole my dad made in the roof), and I found two guys with weird headgear in my bathroom with newspapers spread out on the floor. Apparently the easiest way to the rooftop was through a hole in my bathroom ceiling. I never saw them smoke cigarettes, but they were probably getting high on the rooftop. They said the job would take 2 weeks - (#$)@$(, if we asked them to remodel the entire house they probably would, so as long as they could have a place to smoke weed and jounce all around the rooftop, leaving unknown scrap residue everywhere.

My only vindication is seeing our chow dog chase the two guys around my room. I try to be pococurante, but it's just too much lately.

Seriously, I'm soon enough going to have to pay just to get in MY room. I might as well get the jump on them.

Mooncake: Relatives vs. Screaming Old Chinese Ladies

2006-10-30T14:52:47Z

This past few weeks, I learned a hell of a lot about the different social environments which influences one's state of mind to radical differences, even when essentially the same basic activity of group interaction is being done...

In short, playing dice with my cousins and aunts and uncles was fun while playing dice with my mother's alumni batch wasn't.

October 22, 2006. Angelo St, La Loma, Quezon City.

You know, I could've sworn they lived in a different house. No, wait, all three houses here that look the same belong to them. If my dad hadn't made the wise decision to get his own house in San Juan, I'd be living here too, surrounded by those feng shui "demon-expelling" things and barking dogs and the smell of 1950's dust. Whew. Joke lang.

I bring along my 6-page Filipino reviewer and a huge dictionary, expecting to get some work done during the car ride and the lull in between dice rolls. Of course, it never happened.

Prizes are assorted food items, juices, Pik-Nik, gelatin, etc. First prize is 1,000, supplied by I don't know who won last year but it wasn't my family. Also, only me and my mother are present. My sister and brother were still asleep when we left, so I get to roll thrice in their place. Conveniently, everytime more than one four pops up, that's my roll.

In between dice, I find an old black guitar. Upon closer inspection, I realize it was supposed to be red, but any trace of actual red had been buried beneath charcoal. The guitar was missing the E and B strings, so all you could do was play bass. Instead of the other strings being in standard E-A-D-G tuning, it was like D-E-FOSHIZZLE-!?%#!?!. I had the impression that every single note that guitar played disappeared with the death of the Renaissance. My cousin tells me that it was his guitar, and he had been meaning to learn how to play it but never got around to it. That makes the guitar around 10 years old or so. One wonders what the hell happened.

My other cousins, who are all ridiculously taller than I am, bait each other back and forth with ill-conceived jokes that are worse than the jokes Trevor Chan thinks are funny. As a result, they end up being funny anyway, if only because they're not. Meta-humor there.

Incidentally, last night one of them texted me the following:
You want to buy a shirt at SM that costs 97 pesos. You borrow 100 pesos from your parents; 50 from your dad and 50 from your mom. You go buy the shirt. You then pay back 1 pesos each to your mom and dad. So that's 49 pesos left to pay per parent, and you have 1 peso left. 49 + 49 + 1 = 99. What happened to the other peso?
Well, obviously the problem was counting the wrong thing. It wasn't counting the physical money but it was counting the debts. The correct equation should be 97 pesos for the shirt + 1 peso to your mom + 1 peso to your dad + your 1 peso = 100. I texted that back to my cousin. She immediately replied with, "CORRECT! YOU'VE GOT IT!"
The next day, she asks me:
"Ano ulit ung sagot dun sa tinext ko sa iyo kagabi?"
"...Bakit?"
"Nakalimutan ko e. Lahat ng classmates ko nagtatanong. Sabi nila imposible namang hindi mo isasama ang utang mo."
"Nag-iisip ba sila?"
"..."
"Kala ko alam mo na ang sagot?"
"Hindi!"
"......E paano mo naman nalaman na tama ako?"
"Hindi ko alam."
"O____O"

We have a good laugh there, although I still don't think she gets it. You'd think with the advent of the Internet and E-mail that somebody else would have heard of that chain message (albeit in a different form) but nooo...

Anyway, 2000 pesos is put up by my mom in a highest-lowest game; the highest and lowest rolls get 1000 pesos respectively. I win the lowest roll; but since my mom put up the 2000, we lose 1000 bucks anyway. Sheesh.

Everyone eats mamon, I ask everyone in sight what paali-aliyung means. Nobody knows, including my dictionary.

I go home and have a headache.

Conclusion: It was fun.

October 28, 2006. CityBest Restaurant, Somewhere Off Tomas Morato

This one happens every year, too. The difference is, I don't know anyone, so I'm relegated to my family, comics and my iPod. We wait about 1 1/2 hours for dinner to be served and another 1 1/2 hours for everyone to finish. There are five people in my family, so we have five raffle tickets (because at events like these there always have to be raffles. If not, the organizer is called cheap, loses honor and may be forced to commit tunjin. Don't ask me what that means in English.) Four out of our five tickets win, and I collect them all. Everybody's laughing at me in their weird voices by the third time.

After the first 2 1/2 hours, I spend the last half hour walking around the deserted second floor listening to Orion.

The dozen or so tables will be condensed into five or six because they only have five or six microwaves. So we're all separated into different tables, but we steal... uh, replace other people's tickets and my family all end up conveniently at the same table. My sister says that she needs to do her homework, and beats feet out of the restaurant towards home. She has to be the smartest one out of all of us here.

Meanwhile, some old lady at our table, E, continually screams, "E! E! EEEE! EEEEHHH! E-YI-YI-YI-E! EEEEEEEEEEEEE@($#&!)(@$@$%^!#@*(%!)@*!!!!!!!!!!!!111111oneoneone". Everyone in close proximity to her laughs. Those across the table, meaning me and my brother, gag. Throughout the course of the game, every single roll of that old lady's is punctuated by an "CHINGCHANGWINGWANGWONGDOREMIFASOLATIDO! ONETWOTHREEFO'FIVESEEX HAHAHAAHAHAHAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA". Me and my brother try to block it out by listening to the theme from Mortal Kombat.

Meanwhile, a little kid with white hair three spaces away from my brother rolls three fours, and runs around the table screaming something about robots or something. Try not to laugh. It's impossible. My brother rolls four fours on his first turn, winning him first prize. Nobody is enthusiastic, since it's unspoken but common knowledge that every single prize, consisting of a microwave, trays, pouches, hand soaps (WHATTHE?) and weird-looking food items, is either rotten or will fall apart within two weeks.

The game ends. I grab everything I think we had won. I discover a bag that doesn't seem to be ours, so I throw it back onto the table. I hope somebody claimed it.

Conclusion: It wasn't fun.

Hell Week

2006-10-17T13:19:52Z

This is Hell Week.
You never know it's coming,
You never know how long it lasts, (not a week)
You never know when it's going to end...

Nobody thinks the world is easy
But nobody knows how hard it is,
It's relative to everyone
Luck is hit or miss

Minutes slipping away, we've got a lot of time
Waste more than is necessary
Find yourself rushing, cursing teachers
Backlog to January

Tension while relaxin'
Look at me, I'm procrastinating
Oral test; what's the topic?
Try not to look too moronic

"I love you", dude now can you
Give me your SocSci homework?
I'm such a jerk, yeah man thanks
Tomorrow I'mma steal your recitation points.

Try to explain I lost my folder
A green per slip, was it due tomorrow?
Flowcharts jump over concept maps
USB won't open my apps

Please, 'cher
Come on, be fairer
I can't give my paper
Brontok ate my computer

Our minds are in atrophy
The mine's swept clean
For the last diamond
We've got to dig deep

Into Hell.

Never prime yourself to start doing homework...

2006-10-15T06:21:49Z

Because if your parents tell you afterward to do your homework, WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY WILLINGLY DOING IT, it just kills your mood. Undoubtedly.

I don't know what's gotten into my mom lately. She's all obsessed with me sleeping early, so that I can grow TALL. Who the #($%!#@#*$%! cares if I'm tall? Not me. I couldn't care less if I was at the lower end of the class spectrum. I'm not an athlete, I don't plan to be, and height is hardly useful if you can't even look imposing... right, Jann? (joke.. but i'm actually kinda serious.)

And take a gander at the following dialogue:
"Mom, paabot naman ng diksyunaryo sa ibabaw ng mesa o."
"PaKI abot!"
"Mom, pareho lang ung pa sa paki.. they both mean 'please'"...
"PAKI abot."
"It's the same! O_O"
"No respect!" -walks away pissed-

O_______________________________O WHAT THE ?!?!!?!#*$@$)*@??

A Spontaneous Rap. Don't ask. Criticism welcomed =))

2006-10-13T14:07:02Z

Disco music, tryin' to be on the go
Pumping up for a "getting-to-know"
What're your motives? Cross-examination
A moment's charm, it won't last long

There's got to be a bit of a mutual understanding
Doing your thing isn't having your fling
Simple present, will it become progressive?
Complicated future, do you have time to live?

Look at the people and they always seem successful
Racking up the rep in a 4WD car pool
Are they liked? They're just being trendy
The moment they slip, where's the friendly?

Go for it, if you think you have the flow
Because even your best friend don't know
But if you aren't thinking, having trouble blinking
What's going to keep your ego from sinking?

PSAT

2006-10-11T09:18:01Z

An examination

We’re all in contention

You don’t know the question

So you put it in retention

Skip a number, a beat,

Panic’ll shift your seat

Time’s up, stop circlin’ round,

No chance, put your pens down

And they walk around the classroom

Reading from their little scripts;

Maybe if you’re nice to them

They’ll give you a little tip

They watch their watches

And time the batches

Distract you till the time is gone

Otherwise, they’re just there

Just sit back and stare

The battle is already won

What’s the sum of all these angles?

We haven’t learned them triangles

Why is this sentence about General Lee?

We don’t study American History

Vapid is to taste

Hard work goes to waste

Judicious is to prudence

Somewhere else is your sense

Okay, don’t answer anything else

Pass your papers after the bell

Blurry typos, we ask individually

Because the number of people who care is a minority

What’d you answer there? I got 15

But the dictionary says it’s not supposed to mean anything

Walk out, walk away, come back another day

Because there’ll be another one next Wednesday.

Two days felt like a milenyo.

2006-10-01T13:12:53Z

I was one of the more fortunate people, having a fairly sturdy house and strong windows. Electricity came back at 11:30-something p.m. on Sept. 29.

DAY 1.
I woke up at 9AM, and immediately noticed I wasn't freezing. No lights, and I think I saw a tree fly past in the distance. Nothing else to do but go back to sleep.

12PM. House is deserted. I eat lunch and assume the electricity will come back in a couple of hours. It didn't.

3PM. Parents come home. Their office got flooded out... on the 25th floor of a high rise. Unfortunately, the 25th floor had a balcony, and a conveniently-placed hole underneath a cabinet ended work early.

My dad received a text that was along the lines of, "THE ROOF BLEW OFF THE FACTORY IN SITIO GITNA." He left again. Mom settles down on the bed as I play guitar.

5PM. I take a picture of Mom sleeping with a guitar next to her. She got pissed. While mindlessly bouncing a ball around the room, I make up a spur-of-the-moment semi-poem, previously posted. JV Estrada announces no Friday classes on the radio for San Juan. As the first whoops of excitement go up, he then details how an elderly woman was crushed to death beneath a wall. Premature celebration, people; you have no school for a day, while others have no more days for school.

7PM. House becomes dark.. which is when everybody notices that we forgot to recharge our rechargeable lights, which then refused to light despite pleas. After the sixth minor collision, Dad returned with a colleague, and we ate out. We planned Kimpura, but the geniuses at the Greenhills Shopping Center closed the parking lot. Then we planned Promenade, but the genius planners forgot to include a generator. Then we planned Chilli's, but everyone else in the neighborhood thought of that before we did. Then we planned a buffet dinner (naturally, since there were visitors and all), but that was full too. So we retreated to a Chinese restaurant in a hotel, where the waitresses completely messed up our order and gave us free chicken. Incidentally, I saw Aileen, who had been there since 6PM... it was already nine. They had a LAPTOP, which they brought into the restaurant. Probably had Internet access too.

11PM. Still no lights. My room is situated in the hottest part of the house. I almost hoped for more rain so I could open the windows and take a shower or something. Sleep.

DAY 2.
9AM: I woke up again, and looked at my speakers, which have a blue light if the electricity was back on. Nope. I then realized that the blackout forced me out of my bed three hours earlier than usual. House was deserted again. Out of utter boredom, I read a novel. Halfway through it, I had to go, and nonchalantly entered the bathroom and flicked the light switch on. Dang, I felt stupid. I then remembered Sir Perez's friendly reminder that reading in the bathroom causes hemorrhoids. I leave the bathroom smelling like an armpit because we didn't have water either.

12 PM. After lunch, I venture out into the townhouse street to find a mini-community of househelp, with all manner of pets frolicking. Chow knocked over a rack of clothes and then attempted to lift her leg over them. Frenzy. After that, nothing else happened, so I read another novel (Lord of the Flies). I then noticed that this was required reading in High 1 seven years ago. What happened, the adminstration got scared by the fact that deaths are depicted in the book?

3PM. I read yet another novel after that. At least I don't have to worry about my English reading log. I read this one outside.

6PM. After my brother comes home from work, I go to the office on the off chance that I might be able to get some work done on my mother's computer. No dice: it's primitive as (#!)#$. The IE was so retarded I couldn't even access the site to download an updated version. I actually ended up spending two hours messing around with PAINT.

10PM: Dinner at North Park, the white in a sea of black. Apparently something happened to my uncle somewhere in Canada, but it "wasn't for a kid to hear". So they spoke in Fookien. I hate that.

11:30PM. I resign myself to another blackout day. I go to take a leak. Lights come on.

A Family

2006-09-29T16:02:40Z

It's 9 A.M.
Wake up, Jimmy.
There's no school today.
Is it raining outside?
Yes.
Power's out.
Really?
Turn on the radio, Jimmy.
Aww...
Your father and I are heading down to the office now.
Ok.

---
Jimmy, this is your grandfather.
It's getting darker and darker.
We've had our windows blown out here.
Please be careful...
Ok, whatever.

---
This is Radyo Kutsero, the time is 11:30,
PAGASA has said that the rain will stop at 2:30.

---
No! Why now? Not later?
I don't want to go to school tomorrow...

---
This is Radio 101, the time is half past 1.
And there will be no classes...
says the mayor of Malabon.

---
Lord, to you I pray, don't let the rain go away,
Make it stronger, the winds faster,
Go away another day.

---
This is Kaba Balita, the time is 2:44.
A woman was crushed when a section of wall fell on her.
Two others were injured...
And we would like to remind you that the department store
Is extending its promo until Sunday.

---
Sir, the plant's in bad condition.
What's the situation?
Our roof flew off, the factory's now flooding.
The workers are cold, hungry and starving...
Screw them, I'm losing my money!

---
I'm back from the office!
We don't have enough for dinner, so I ordered some chicken.
"Ma'am Sandy, the delivery boy is here."
"He says sign here. He's waiting out in the rain."
What? I already paid? Why do I have to sign again?
Hmph! I have all the problems in the world...

---
This is Radio Trahedya, the time is 3.
We have a caller on the line, a woman from Taguig.
"Oh my God, my house is flooded,
I've lost everything and my husband's dead!"

---
When can I get back home to my family?
Not until we fix these power lines. All of 'em.
Family probably got blown away anyway.
Don't say that!
How're we going to fix these lines anyway?
There must be hundreds of 'em...

---
Where's our electricity?
Why the hell do you think I pay for utility?
You gonna charge me 30,000 for no power? Huh?
"Sir, your power usage is measured with an electric meter..."
WHAT?!?
"...We're working on it, sir..."

---
This is Bagyo Balita, the time is 5:30.
We have a caller on the line...
"This is the Mayor of San Juan."

---
Mommy, Mommy! There's no school on Friday!
J-Jimmy, your grandfather got caught in an accident...

---
Ano ang mga pangalan ninyo, po?
"I'm Bobby, this is my wife Sandy, our son Jimmy."
"And we're here at the lawyer's to check on the old man's life insurance."
...
Ano kamo?
"Jimmy, Bobby, and Sandy. In short, J-B-S."
...
J-B-S...
JEBS nga kayo.

God does not talk like you.

2006-09-24T10:14:29Z

When we talk to God...
With all our heart...
We want to give ourselves up to Him..
And let him take control of our life.

If this is so,
Does He answer?
He probably has.

How many times?
Less than you'd think.
How?
He does not talk like you.

We talk to God for many different reasons.
We have problems, or need encouragement,
Or are grateful, wish to praise Him...

Does he talk back to you?
When you ask God for advice,
Does God say to you, "Do this and this"?

He does not.
If God answers you in your head,
You are talking to yourself.

You are carrying on a conversation
With yourself and yourself alone,
And you are fooling yourself into thinking
God is answering you.

No matter how you'd want God
To talk like Snoop Dogg,
He doesn't even sound like anything.
Remember, he is not human.

The answers you hear are formed by your own mind.
You are looking for a "correct" answer,
And your mind will form this from what it knows.

Your mind will remind you of your morals,
And tell you what you want to hear.
But your morals are society's and not always God's.

God has all the answers, not your schizophrenic personality.

If we want to hear from God,
We pray,
We talk,
We listen,
We wait.

We feel...
Then we will know.

"Second Chance" is a misnomer; the ideal does not hinge on chance.

2006-09-23T15:06:12Z

Last Friday was Xavier High School's first XSpeak, which was concieved with the hopes of becoming an open forum where students could voice their concerns. With the topic of the widely-protested grading system, and the first few minutes going well, it looked like all those allegations of school administrators deliberately keeping mum on questions directed towards school policy were put to rest...

Until everybody realized that all the people in front were just repeating themselves over and over again, especially when the latter half (or should I say latter two-thirds, for the thing went half an hour over) degenerated into just the people in front talking, at times oblivious that there were people in front who had opinions, but may have been reluctant to raise them. A simple "Does anyone in the audience want to respond?" after each person would have been useful.

That's besides the point however. Towards the end of XSpeak a suggestion was raised along the lines of, "How about giving students who fail to recieve honors in, say, the first quarter, "a second chance" to redeem themselves"? This suggestion, which had been floating around in the air as ethereal mist for quite some time, was then plucked out and chewed upon like tobacco by the administrator panelists... but, also like tobacco, it was discreetly spit out.

The problem with the suggestion was its wording. The current policy is that one student must achieve consistent honors to become an annual awardee, and the suggestion proposed a system of averages instead. I fully agree with the suggestion BUT...

It is not "a second chance", it is just plain FAIR. Consider the following, theoretical situation:

An average student misses the cutoff on the first quarter, and therefore gets no honors. After some serious soul-searching, this student then decides that honors are just ceremonial and what really matters is his education, his character and his formation as a Xavier student. So this student then puts heart and soul into the second, third and fourth quarter, making sure that he actually learns something in everything he does. As a natural consequence, this student then willingly goes the extra mile in everything he does --- MAGIS, if you will. And as another natural consequence of that, the student attains AE (Academic Excellence) honors in his remaining three quarters. Yet the next year, at the annual reading of honors, his efforts are unrecognized because of the current academic policy which dictates consistent attainment of honors.

To the student, it would not matter because of his realization... but is it, as was said, fair to completely ignore the student's efforts in the face of the whole school? And for anyone who seeks Xavier's prides, their only basis would be the awardees, who in this theoretical situation are either (or both) less motivated or just naturally smart and quiet. The ideal Xaverian, one who embodies the character, spirit and values of the school, is completely ignored.

You may argue that this is a theoretical situation, not likely to happen. That is true, but look at the point here; The panelists said that the academic measures were put in place to develop good character, especially in preparation for college. How can that happen when, as I showed, the academic measures obscure the ideal Xaverian?

The suggestion should not be implemented with the thought of giving the students "a second chance" in mind, but rather be implemented with the notion of giving the students a fair judgement.

White Light and FM Radio

2006-09-18T09:55:41Z

I have this ball. It's a blue ball, palm-sized, with a little plastic sea urchin inside it.

This ball bounces.

Today I was bouncing this ball around my room to clear my head and walk off a slice of pizza.

The ball hit the side of the door, bounced off my dog's tail, and smashed into a red rechargeable combination lamp, fan, and radio, turning the switch "on" and letting out a brilliant light...

And as I sat down to retrieve the ball, which had fallen behind my bookshelf, everything...changed.

The world became bathed in a brighter, white and dark blue-toned wash as I simultaneously switched on the FM radio.

My world became idyllic 1998, playing on the floor with the sun shining through the Venetian blinds and humming along to audiocassette tapes.

My world became aged 7, when I would race matchbox cars around my bedroom floor and have action figures fight each other across imaginary rooftops.

My world became one where I didn't have headaches and deadlines and cares and worries.

This world lasted for a second, and as I retrieved the ball and got up, the white light shrank to the corner of the room and the radio faded in and out.

I switched both off and sat down at my computer to do homework and fire up iTunes.

And to blog. I used to write in diaries...

Alanis Morisette does not know what irony is.

2006-09-13T14:01:27Z

When I was in 6th grade, we still had Reading class. That teacher Mr. Wong tried to teach us about irony using "Ironic" by Alanis Morisette, one of the anthems of alt-rock.

I don't quite remember how the verdict of the lesson turned out, but I think I know why no one likes Mr. Wong...

"An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day --> NOT IRONY
It's a black fly in your Chardonnay --> NOT IRONY
It's a death row pardon two minutes too late --> NOT IRONY
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think

It's like rain on your wedding day --> NOT IRONY
It's a free ride when you've already paid --> NEITHER IS THIS IRONY
It's the good advice that you just didn't take --> NOR THIS (Unless you got karma-ed.)
Who would've thought...it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole damn life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
"Well isn't this nice..."
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think --> Okay, this must be the only actual irony in the entire song.

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you're already late --> Irony is NOT bad timing.
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break --> How the heck did that become ironic?
It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife --> That's not ironic, that's stupid.
It's meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife --> AAARGH.
And isn't it ironic...dontcha think
A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think...

It's like rain on your wedding day
It's a free ride when you've already paid
It's the good advice that you just didn't take
Who would've thought...it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out"

No wonder everybody's confused over what irony is. Alanis' later comment over how "the song is ironic because it's about irony yet doesn't contain irony" is invalid, because it DOES... once.

Ode to Pathos

2006-09-13T10:47:35Z

This is what happens when you have nothing to do...

I got a low rider painted pink
And spray-painted Metallica across the front
Now for the first time ever I think
I may have done something wrong

Now I drove a girl to a club
And she met her boyfriend there
She gave me a tip for two bucks
And I just stood and stared

I was taken for a ride
It happened as it should
For some reason I always find
I have "METROWIGGA" across the hood

Take me home, country roads,
But let me get gas first.
May I today squish no toads
As I drive this pimpin' hearse.

These are forced rhymes, aren't they?
Sings the voice on the radio;
But wait, I broke my radio today
It's actually me singing that... yo.

The Hermit

2006-09-13T10:45:56Z

There was once a generic young man on a generic journey to find some item that nobody, even the young man himself, really cared about.

It had taken him longer than he had expected, and he was short of food. He was just sitting down to eat his last Beard Papa when he came upon an old hermit.

"Ah", he thought, "This is my chance! I'll just give this cream puff to him and he'll show me where to go, just like that Juanizzle dude!"

So before the man could say anything, the lad gave him his last cream puff, and for a while the old man sat and ate.

When the hermit had finished, he stared off into the distance. The eager young man impatiently stamped his foot. After a while he could take it no longer and demanded, "Well, what do I get?"

The hermit seemed confused. The man, annoyed by now, persisted, "I gave you my Beard Papa cream puff! Aren't you going to tell me how to run around in a circle, climb Mt. Everapofujimayonbenbikutatrambedto seventy-seven times, then wait for some bird to unload on me so that I may use it's droppings to draw a happy face on the Tree of Knowledge of How To Get Out Of An Elevator and find the Golden Platinum Diamond Jade Celadon Synthetic Plastic Religous Icon Of Great Religiousness, or something?"

The hermit chuckled. "Now that you mention it, no."

The man was perplexed. "Why?"

The hermit said, "Because you mentioned it, you idiom."